workaholic

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Australia is a freak

after jo slept,
i was resting on my bed and yes the question is still bothering me. SIM or UWA?????
IT IS A VERY DIFFICULT CHOICE.
very much.
so i did what i did this morning

guess what i did this morning?
throw two coins to help me decide whether i should go work a not.
and yes i went to work.

so yeeaaa, i took out two 20 cents coin from my purse,
asked:"

"Coin coin coin coin coin coin, please tell me whether i should go australia a not coin coin coin"
for three times.

1st time - yes
2nd time - no
3rd time - no

it makes me sad to see that even the coins are telling me that in reality, i am not able to go.

Morally, i cant use my mom & dad's hard earned money
i cant leave my mom all alone in singapore
i have not applied for my dad to come back to singapore
i cant allow jo's father to voluntarily lend me the 100k++ for a fcking degree

100K is just like buying a.... Camry.
So, Technically,
When I finally graduate, I need 10 years to return Jo's daddy the money. Even if we are going to get married i still have to return his dad the money. That's Morally.

Foresight:
WHAT IF,
Some osama comes back again, economy downturn, HARD TO FIND JOB.
How the hell am i going to return 100k ++++ ?????

worse worse..lets slow down and look at 1 year from now instead.....
WHAT IF!
Jo finds another girlfriend in the university within a years' time,
I got no heart to study cuz SHI LIAN,
UNI HALFWAY DROPOUT!
then i really think theres no point for me to go already.

The only thing good that will happen if i go is:
1. Relationship back to normal
2. The certificate from the uni.

.... with a lot and a lot of chained undesirable consequences that will happen under MORALLY, TECHNICALLY & WHAT IF(s).

I have thought of migration, even. Thought of asking my dad to give up his malaysia and mom to give up her singapore. Even visited and bookmarked urls like: http://www.realestate.com.au/realestate/homes+for+sale/houses
Asked mom to sell away her apartment and "lets all go to australia to see me study"
and even even, wanted to buy air tickets for my dearest charcoal boy to go see me study at australia too.

Conclusion? WAYWAYWAYWAYWAY far-fetched.

I think im going crazy.

10:31:00 PM